"Hold On"

I have recently read and re-read Sister Dibb's Conference address and have pondered on its simple and beautiful message. Sister Dibb says "Heavenly Father has not left alone during our mortal probation. He has already given us all the 'safety equipment' we will need to successfully return to him." The safety equipment she is talking about she later explains is "the scriptures, personal prayer, living prophets, and the Holy Ghost."

In her message she invites us to read the full accounts of the inspired vision of the tree of life and to ponder them. I accepted her invitation and did just that. As I read Lehi's account of the tree of life I was impressed several times by his description of the fruit of the tree. Lehi describes the fruit as 'most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted,' 'as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy.' He also describes the fruit as being 'desirable about all other fruit.' He expresses a great desire for his family to partake of the fruit also. I thought about Lehi's description of the fruit of the tree and I was deeply moved by its symbolism of the love God. How incredible his description of the fruit parallels each individuals thoughts and feelings when they experience this indescribable love. God's love is sweeter than any other kind of love. It fills our souls with joy beyond comprehension and when we experience this love we want all others to experience its magnitude and fullness that they too might be filled with joy.

Sister Dibb speaks of how important it is for each of us to use these tools that we have been given that we might be safe guarded against Satan's cunning ways. She explains that we must be diligent, obedient, and persistent in the cause of truth. We must be consistent in prayer, scripture study, following the words of the prophets, and living worthy of the Holy Ghost. Although these things are ever so simple and we speak of them often in casual conversation, we cannot over emphasize their importance in our daily lives. These tools are so important that Satan wants us to underestimate their power and the great influence they have in our lives. Never let him convince of this great lie. He knows what power they have in building individual testimonies and that is exactly why he would have you believe that they are not that important.

I want to share a very real personal experience that illustrates the truthfulness of Sister Dibb's message. I hope that none of you think differently of my after reading this experience that I had, but I felt impressed to share it so I will listen to that impression. Over the last year I have come to learn for myself how critical it is for my own personal testimony and salvation that I do not let a day go by that I do not cling to the rod of iron. Last year was one of the most trying (challenging) years of my life for several reasons that I will not go into detail about, but suffice it to say my testimony has never felt so tested in all of my life:

For several months I did not feel the spirit on a consistent basis and had lost some desire to go to church and to be around people that were on the strait and narrow path. I became annoyed when people close to me gave me spiritual advice and/or counsel about my situation. I felt unworthy to pray at times. I felt discouraged by my personal circumstances (being single, having a low income job, not using my degree, etc.). Months went by and my desire to study the scriptures was fading. I felt lonely and unsettled (anxious) much of the time. After a few months of feeling this way I began pondering why I was not happy and what it was in my life that had changed to make me feel this way. I slowly recognized that my scripture study had taken a back seat to all other priorities in my life and was more of a task on a daily check list than a spiritual feast. When this one thing, this one very critical thing, began to be a priority in my life (change of attitude in my approach to scripture study) and I was praying for the Lord to soften my heart at the same time I was blown away by how my life was changed. The Lord softened my heart through my sincere pleas to help me come unto him and to cling to the rod of iron (word of God) and my life has changed. Although my circumstances have not changed, I am listening to spirit, studying the scriptures with heart, and desiring to make God's will my own, and every part of life has been enhanced. All this changed because the Lord helped me to once again hold tight to the word of God.

I bear testimony that the scriptures are true and they possess all of the answers to any questions you have about life. I know that through holding fast to the word of God our lives can be enhanced and our capacity increased. I love this gospel and I know these things to be true.

Christmas was wonderful because I got to spend it with my family. I honestly have no idea how I have been so blessed to be apart of this family, because they are amazing and I would not be who I am today without them. We tried something new for Christmas this year and even though I was kind of against it before we tried it I am really glad that we did. I have always been one that does not do well with change, but changes is good and usually brings about necessary growth and improvement.

This year we opened all of our gifts on Christmas eve, aside from our gifts from Satan Claus. I think it was a wonderful change, because it helped all of us to focus more on the real meaning of Christmas on Christmas day rather than all of the new and exciting gifts that we received. We also got to sleep in until 8:00am on Christmas day and that never happens! The kids are usually so excited about opening their presents that they we are being herded like cattle into the living room around 6:30 (and that's after they have been waiting patiently in their beds since 5:30 to wake us up)! Honestly the kids make Christmas the memorable experience it is each year and I wouldn't dream of toning down their excitement just to get a little more sleep on Christmas morning. Kids teach me how to love every little detail about life, to remember the small things that I so often look past because I am so busy thinking about the next task that I need to get done or whatever else is on my mind on any particular day. I love my little siblings. They teach me so much about what is truly important in life and they are absolutely adorable! I'm very glad that we have begun this new tradition of opening our gifts on Christmas eve and I'm being more open minded about any changes to family traditions that may come in the future. Change is good.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say what an amazing job you are all doing in your posts for our line-upon-line blog. I feel uplifted and inspired by your messages. I think I will be doing the next post... is that right? This is a test to see if I am already an author to the blog. :)

More Diligent and Concerned at Home

I decided to post on a talk that I felt most helped me at this time. I really loved what Elder Bednar taught is this.

I remember hearing President Monson recently quote William Shakespeare when he said, "He hath not loved, that hath not shown love." I believe this is true. Sometime for me I need to just act before I feel. Our culture teaches us that we have to have this grand feeling to show love. I believe that most often it goes the other way around - especially in the home. I took this next section directly from the talk:

President Thomas S. Monson recently counseled: “Often we assume that [the people around us] must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. . . . We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us” (“Finding Joy in the Journey,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2008, 86).

Elder Bednar also suggests that we bear testimony and live that testimony that we bear. I had a friend who when she married her husband was surprised to find that his family bore testimony to each other every night when they did there family scripture study. She told me that the first time she experienced this she felt very uncomfortable. She also said that she felt pressured into acting "Spiritual" at times when she did not necessarily feel like it. But, as she continued, she teared up in humility and acknowledgement of how strong her testimony has grown, and how it has done so in the presence of those who are most important.

I really appreciated what Elder Bednar said about us living the testimony that we share - and that it need not be preachy or extremely eloquent.

The relationship between testimony and appropriate action is emphasized in the Savior’s instruction to the Saints in Kirtland: “That which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do” (D&C 46:7). Our testimony of gospel truth should be reflected both in our words and in our deeds. And our testimonies are proclaimed and lived most powerfully in our own homes. Spouses, parents, and children should strive to overcome any hesitancy, reluctance, or embarrassment about bearing testimony. We should both create and look for opportunities to bear testimony of gospel truths—and live them.

I really feel like this adds a new dimension to spirituality in the home - and protection too. Where a child is confident that their parent's testimony is in the basic principles and doctrines of the Kingdom, and where the parent knows and feels the same about their child's testimony; there is such a feeling of trust and commitment to each other and to the Lord. I really feel that this brings stability to a family in times when things around us are caving.

Elder Bednar continues by asking us as parents to be consistent. I have noticed how sensitive Belen is to my actions.. especially if they are not in harmony with what I teach her to do... OH Yes - she is very aware!!! ha ha But all joking aside... I feel that my words hold no weight if I do not act upon them in consistency. Elder Bednar continues with this:

A public statement of love when the private actions of love are absent at home is hypocrisy—and weakens the foundation of a great work. Publicly declaring testimony when faithfulness and obedience are missing within our own homes is hypocrisy—and undermines the foundation of a great work. The commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16) applies most pointedly to the hypocrite in each of us. We need to be and become more consistent. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

I believe that part of my continual "reconstruction" that mom talked about in the last post is centered around these principles. I continue to try, and many times I fail - but I have a testimony that the Savior has been there many times - countless times- to help me to show love, bear testimony in word and action, and to be consistent. I know that when I ask for His help and sincerely repent and try again to do better, I am made stronger and more able to act in this role He has given me as a loving parent.